Aya Fiber Studio | suzanne connors

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The end of a dream

It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to start an organization. It is probably the most challenging thing you will ever do. Especially when you are starting a non-profit when you are used to working as a for-profit business. You founded the organization based upon your vision, your passion, and your core values. You start it because you had a mission you truly believed in. In essence, the organization became an extension of your personality and style.

It is important who you choose to work with, your fate ultimately depends on your team. It is important to interview and select people whose skills and passion complement yours, The entire team needs to have the same work ethics. It takes an immense amount of work to succeed; it is an all-consuming endeavor and the wrong team members will ultimately destroy an organization.

The last thing you think of is quitting and letting go, You keep going and going and giving it all you got and the furthest thing from your mind is letting go. But eventually, you either realize that you have been the lone wolf and your team is not committed, or you realize that it is time for your organization to move into something bigger and into growth leadership.

Hopefully, it is for growth leadership, but sometimes things can go in the other direction.

Sometimes you realize that in fact, you are really the only person who gives a fuck, everyone else is just along for the ride and as long as you keep putting your gas into the tank, they will keep riding. In truth, you know that everything is so dysfunctional, You know that everyone likes your ideas but you also know that nobody will put the work into making it happen. So you beg and you plead, and still no one steps up. This dream is taking over your life. but you persevere! Then you have a personal crisis, and despite the fact that there are over 70 members, nobody is there for you when you need them to step in. The cruel words of one boardmember hurt you badly. Words that cut deep. like a knife in your back.

So you quit.

This is hard, you feel the reluctance to hand over the day to day control of the baby you have nurtured and raised. Ideally, you will relinquish the role to someone who shares your vision for the organization Someone else who truly understands why you even started this organization. Someone who even gives 1/2 a fuck. This is a time to raise the bar! Your replacement must understand the core values this organization was built upon. It is important that your replacement has sharp business acumen and a capacity to take the organization to higher places,

The skills to start an organization are one thing, the skills to keep it growing another, These skills vary from one stage of the business to the next. Passion and dedication are always integral to growth.

But what happens when the right people are not on board, What happens when they don’t have the acumen to raise the bar or when they want to take everything you have built and give it away. To allow another organization to take control, just because they think it will be easier for them and less work. This is what happens when someone else takes over who doesn’t want the control or to do the work involved. This is what happens when the wrong people step in. This is what happens when they never understood or believed in what you were striving for, to begin with.

What happens when your Saks 5th Ave dream becomes Walmart ? When the “baby” you have spent years nurturing and cultivating is thrown to the wolves because nobody else helped to plan or had any idea of the things you were working on; or even cared to ask. When nobody else saw the bigger picture on the horizon. What happens when your finances are put into another organization’s control, just because they promise that it will be easier and less work, but it is really because you were competing for the same funding. (and getting closer every time) All of a sudden, the other organization, the one who never supported the individual artists before; wants to take over “your dream”. “ Your baby” Your experiences and successes will look great on their grant proposals. And you won’t be wanting a slice of the pie. The bar is not raised, at that point, your organization just becomes another club on their list of clubs, (and they take between 8-15% ) the things everyone thought were going to be less work, will only become more work. Have you never heard of bureaucratic paperwork? Everything will now need to be documented and approved; forms to fill out, reports to be filed; Talk about Red Tape! The independent non-profit status you once had; now only benefits the fiscal organization and you will be back standing in line to get a bone. BTW, Did they tell you that now your organization is a 1099 contractor and has to pay taxes? Why would a certified 501(c)3 even need a fiscal sponsor? This is what people do when they don’t have this status. This is what other independent organizations strive to do. this is how organizations grow, how they receive funding for growth and programming. Now instead of getting funding, they have to stand in line behind everyone else to get a bone. Now instead of growing, you are just another name on the list.

Why would they do this? Why would they go against everything that was the basis of your dream? Perhaps they never understood what you were striving to achieve for the group. Perhaps they never did believe in the mission. They apparently never saw the big picture.. Perhaps the group became too large. Perhaps the group did not have shared values of excellence. Perhaps they just got tired and lazy. After all, the dream was based upon culture and education. On supporting the working members, on providing quality programming. In retrospect, it was all bullshit. Few cared and few believed. Few stepped up and few participated. The programming was minimal and the members cared less about learning how to become professional.

I am blessed, God has given me multiple talents. I have the ability to create things, I am both an artist who can work with my hands and a business person who works with their heart and their brain. and I’m a survivor!

So, what is my next step?

The natural thing is to start something new that follows my passion, my vision, and my core values. But this time, I’ll select a better team that complements my skills. this time there will be boundaries and balance, and this time it will be for fewer people who believe in the same thing and share the same level of excellence.

I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies, and we can’t all shop at Saks