Organization presidents are optimistic by nature. They have to be or they’d never take an unpaid full-time job that will end with half the organization hating them and the other half avoiding them so they don’t have to volunteer themselves. Volunteering is an important and essential contribution from all members of society that helps others, ourselves, and our life. But, it's possible to overextend yourself and experience burnout. It’s also possible to have the ones you count on stab you in the back and you finally see their true colors. .Volunteering can be both rewarding and draining at the same time. Much of the work is under-appreciated and dealing with all the bullshit when donating your precious time to an organization is not rewarding at all.

When people realize there is no actual societal benefit to the work they are doing or that everything they have done is unappreciated— they leave. They feel used. They are deterred from volunteering again.  People don’t want to work for free to feel undervalued.

I will never volunteer again!

In the past, I have always avoided non-profit work, I am a business person, and I am a successful businessperson with a lot of essential skills. I’m also a visionary and a person who is not afraid to follow through on my dreams. I make things happen. Even when others tell me it cannot be done, I always find the way. I just know how to conduct business and have the business and marketing skills professionals need to make it. Especially, Artists! I do not believe in the “starving artist” mentality. So, why was I so stupid to give my time, energy and skill set away? Why did I think what I was creating was important?  Why did I believe in these people and this cause? Especially when I was stabbed in the back in the end.

Number one, I saw a need for something that was missing in our local artist community.  I realized that most of the artists while being very talented, had little or no business skills. There was also a lack of exhibition venues for these local artists. Our local Arts Council, while supporting the Community Arts in general; does not do much for the individual artists. There was also a lack of camaraderie among the local artists. Artists need other Artists! We needed a Guild to support each other, to support the other local artists in our community and provide venues and business training to support them. It was a cause I truly believed in. So being the optimist I am, I founded The Martin Artisans Guild.

Plus, I also volunteered to make friends and form relationships with people.  

I had been part of an artist organization before when I lived in North Carolina and had a lot of friends there. I was part of a very functional group and everyone participated. Our studio tour included 80+ artists from a wide variety of mediums. My social life was full of exhibits and events with all my artist friends. Sunday’s included pot lucks and bonfires with my fellow artist friends. I love to entertain and always had people to my house, most of them my fellow artists. I guess I was trying to recreate a happier time in my life. Little did I know that this Florida community was not ever going to compare. Little did I know that nobody here had time for anything that did not benefit themselves. Humans are social creatures and are looking to build a community. It is rewarding to form friendships and make a friend, it is rewarding to have an exciting conversation. It is rewarding to have a great exhibit and support your fellow artist: or so I thought! During my tenure as Guild President, these social interactions were far and few. Few social invites were ever extended except for planned guild activities or overpriced charity functions. I can count on 1 hand the number of people who have accepted invitations to my home.

“But, Consider what you want to get out of your volunteer experience. Most people volunteer because they want to make a difference. But there are other things you may want also, such as: getting out from behind your computer, social interaction and making and showing your art. “

I guess I took on too much. One would think that If you were already on the steering committee, helping to hang exhibits, doing all the administration for different committees, creating contact lists and spreadsheets, doing most of the marketing, acting as treasurer for the group, applying for grants, attending meetings on the Guilds behalf, answering all the emails, finding program materials and directing meetings; in addition to running a  full-time business, that would be enough. But in truth, it never was!

The more I did, the more they took. Membership would just not step up. We begged and we pleaded. I started calling the group The Martin Artisans Guilt. I was thankful for those few who did volunteer, they were those who also kept very busy schedules and ran their businesses, but even they needed me to do 1/2 of their job before they could finish it. Or they would start a task, and then send it to me to finish or to order. They were busy too! We were all stretched way too thin! The added stress started harming my studio practice. I did not have time to create any artwork of my own or participate in many of the venues I was creating. The students in my studio were commenting that “I was distracted, and I just did not “seem to be present”. I agree; I wasn’t! I was monitoring 4 email addresses a day and this alone took 2-3 hours. My days started at 5:00 am. before I went to my studio from 8-6, and there were many nights I was still online at midnight trying to either market my own business or do the things I did not complete for the Guild in the morning. During the day, I was filtering more email traffic and telephone calls that were volunteer work related than my business. But I believed in my cause, so I kept going. You should not feel obliged to take on more, even if nobody else steps up. But, I did; I just kept doing whatever it took to keep the organization running and looking good. Presentation is everything! So much in fact that our group became the envy of every art organization around. But now I realize, I was only enabling the organization, and most of the members could care less how professional the installations looked or how classy our functions were. And the smile on my face that I was presenting, was only a mask to hide how I was feeling inside.

Then came the final straw, our steering committee met on a Sunday afternoon to discuss how to restructure the organization and it was right in the middle of my busiest month of business in my studio. This was a month when I had over 200 students there, plus 5 instructors I was making travel arrangements for and preparing for their classes. I was swamped! In previous years, this was always a time when we were able to slow down and concentrate on our businesses , then the guild would gear back up after the season. But not this year; the others were getting burned out too and something had to be done. They all wanted out too. It was just too much and something had to be done to restructure the guild so we could all get a break. I thought we had a good plan! We needed more of the membership to step up and take responsibility. Unfortunately, the timing was wrong! I had too much on my business plate to put the necessary time or data together that we needed. It was there, just not complied and put into report form. I was “unavailable” for the 1st time in over 4 years- so, they decided to just go around me, even though the information I was compiling was critical to making strategic decisions. We needed each events profit and loss, we needed the Studio Tours data, we needed to create the next years budget and figure out if we could contract some of the work to be done; I was working on all of this, but hell; we had just finished the studio tour only 2 weeks before and all the numbers were not even in yet, As it was, I was going to need to file an extension for my businesses reports. But, I was expected to drop everything and get what they wanted - Immediately! By an impossible date. An outside consultant was called in and she wanted everything NOW, and on top of it, the meetings were going to be based upon her availability. My schedule was irrelevant. The other steering committee members thought she was going to wave her magic wand and make everything better- for them. Even though she knew nothing about our organization or had even attended any of our events. Nobody cared what pressure this was putting on me. I was for the 1st time, inflexible, but I told them that I would hire someone to put the data together as quickly as possible. They could not wait, they went ahead and scheduled the strategy meeting even though nothing would be ready. And it was sneaky because nobody thought I was going to find out! I accidentally was copied on an email that I was probably not supposed to be included on. Reply all is hit sometimes without thinking. They were going to meet anyway, without any data to work with. How do you strategize without data? without a budget? Now I’m finding out that there was a lot more going on than I ever knew, and there were already plans in the making to just hand everything I have worked for to another organization. This was something I had worked hard to avoid over the years. This would limit our organization to grant possibilities and we would be under the jurisdiction of the mother organization. In the end, it would create more work and be even more inflexible. This was still not going to make the membership step up. I felt like I was stabbed in the back by people I thought were my friends. As a volunteer who gave 50-60 hours a week; for over 4 years, my work was all in vain. This upset me so badly, I just needed to walk away. This was one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make, but I needed to focus on my business. I did not owe any explanation whatsoever. These were big changes that needed to be discussed and that should have been brought to the table, instead of me hearing about them through the grapevine. My trust in the other steering committee members was shattered. And, in the end - nobody cared if I was part of the decisions or not. I’m finally realizing that nobody shared my vision after all, as long as it was going to make things easier on them, what difference did it make that it would kill me inside?

People should simply be able to say "I am not available" without being pressured for more than they can give at the time. Especially when they have given their all to something! Especially when they have been the backbone of the organization!

But don’t be surprised that if you do set boundaries, you are soon put on the pay no mind list and ignored after doing this! Also, don’t be surprised if you do not end up being the bad guy!

I think the worst part of it all is finding out that you have no friends? Today, the word “friend” has taken on new meaning thanks in most part to Facebook. They’ve essentially hijacked the word and debased it. Friendship is a two-way street and not always easy. Some people would prefer the good times without the messiness of the bad times. I guess they feel more at ease keeping things on the surface. I can’t somehow wonder why when all this started, why nobody picked up the phone and wanted to know what was going on? A little communication might have spared a lot of bad will.

My last time ever volunteering, in the future I’ll be just like everyone else and put in my minimal obligations or maybe not even be a part of anything I am not paid for! But I’ll be watching to see how “my baby” grows from afar!